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Another part of the Spank The Monkey media empire: offending your brain at The Unpleasant Lair Of Spank The Monkey, offending your ears at Spank's Audio Lair, and offending your eyes right here, right now.


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Venue 3 for #CollabFest2014: "@BrewDogClaphamJ".

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(I'm trying every escape format I can think of to make the @ sign in the title come up in the autogenerated tweets. Apologies in advance if it still doesn't work.)

Halfway through a four-bar, sixteen-beer pub crawl: how's my typing holding up? I dread to think, frankly. The flight at Clapham Junction consists of four beers from all the bits in the middle and south of the UK that aren't London. Left to right:

1. Quantum/Birmingham - Hop. Kettle. Black (4.8%, hopfenschwartzweisse). Yeah, you try typing that after eight beers (okay, eight sixths of beer technically, stop hassling me). Takes a while forthe taste to come through, and smells like you've left the gas on. Still struggling by the end of the glass to pin the flavour down to anything in particular. 'You can tell lots of things are going on, but none of them are coming through,' says the BBG.

2. Wild Beer/Bristol - Rosa Canina (5.4%, saison with rosehip, rose petals and rosemary). Deliciously fruity, grabs you by the nose as soon as you pick up the glass. The sours in CollabFest are all well and good, but balls to sourness when you can have fruit beers that taste this nice.

3. Celt Experience/Cardiff - Home Of The Fruitcakes (6.0%, strawberry and raspberry saison). Even more ridiculously fruity than the Bristol beer. BBG thinks that the fruit is more forward but it's less interesting than Rosa Cantina - still, it's incredibly drinkable for a 6% beer, with an actual taste of fresh fruit in there. The West are easily beating the Midlands in this particular flight.

4. Buxton/Nottingham - Rough C's (5.0%, oatmeal amber lager). Bitter for a lager, not much else can be said apart from that. End up taking big glugs in an attempt to taste something other than bitterness. 'Nicer than most lagers,' suggests the BBG, 'but it's still a lager.'
25th Oct 2014, 19:59  

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