What have I learnt today ?

by WhathaveI

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There are two sides to everything......even the truth.

This will be a bit like a daily me but more like a real journal. I've become more aware of how important the things we learn each day are and how I need to remind myself of what each day has taught me, either, for the first time, or as most often happens, for a second or third time...... I'm also having my usual tussle with the internet and some of the people on it, so what's new ?

I wont neccessarily post everyday as I'm not intending on putting that much pressure on myself and having thought about it the real reason I am doing this is to keep a diary of the craziness that is life, so that if I EVER become famous and am forced to write an autobiography I will have an abundance of vacuous material to put in. (Takes toungue out of cheek)

I also had time to mull over why I have invited just the small group of people I have. If you are here its because I value whatever it is you bring to this small place on the interent. Put simply........Friend.

I've put the moany bit at the bottom of the page now! I'm already cringing at it but I shall leave it as a reminder of how I am swinging between rational and irrational thought and emotion.


I have also been very unwell for a number of years now and am at a point where the line between some kind of decent recovery and a life of infinite illness is begining to piss me off! I'm piqued too by the fact that no-one seems to recognise or care about my daily struggle, some mornings I can't get out of bed and even if I manage to stand upright my feet are so painful it hurts to walk. This has been a new development since May from a nasty virus - shingles - which affected my face and right eye, very painful indeed and very exhausting. But see I'm moaning again and I should know better, there are afterall people much worse off than me. Hmmmmmpph

Therefore I need somewhere to vent.

Am adding only a few select friends as I dont wish to share with everyone. Think I have reached a time of life where being very sensitive anyway, just emphasizes even more the emotions I feel. I'm calling it my 'Mental Pause' appropriate for all kinds of reasons though apparently I havent actually reached this biological point yet according to the Doc ! it feels like it though and I hate that in the 21st century it is still a very ill discussed subject and carries such Taboo and misinformation and a sense that somehow you are passed it.................... mini rant over for now :-)

I realise that there will be people (admin) who will be able to read this......so be it.

There may be days when I learn more than one thing, there may be days when I dont. Inevitably there will be days when I am learning the same bloody lesson I thought I'd already learned such is life.

Please dont feel you have to comment or indeed even induldge me by coming here to read the blog, I really do need to vent somewhere without offending or upsetting others. But most of all I want my moblog friends to know I havent desserted them and 'left' with a swish of my skirt and an "I 'm leaving goodbye" etc etc etc.

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In bed at the moment trying to rest. My own fault entirely. Doc warned me not to overdo it, but I had so much organising to do. By saturday both hips were really begining to hurt badly and my feet are continually painful. This was supposed to be temporary.

I think everyone enjoyed themselves at the party and it was really good to see friends. Seeing them reminds me how lucky I am.

Lying here it is still very wet and windy. You can't see from the picture but when the sun shone briefly it cast shadows in the shape of raindrops on the curtains, they were glistening and sparkly!

Just arrived back from collecting the kids from the school bus. My friend is struggling with being a parent. Her and her husband waited 7 or 8 years for their first child and it was a long, anxious and emotional journey. She took a lot of unwanted opinion/criticism from 'friends',family and her parish priest. Her child is at school with my youngest.

My friend had another child earlier this year, like her older child gorgeous with an infectious smile. Both children have unfortunately had health problems since birth, this has caused her such angst and stress and she believes its all her fault. Those children are everything to her because she wanted them so badly she has tried to do everything right for them........she still thinks that it is her fault.

A 'friend' of hers (I've put friend in commas as I'm not sure what friend means in this context)has told her she is selfish to let her child be in the class when he has special needs as this apparently takes time away from the other children!

She was almost in tears at the bus stop. I know this person. She was a regular at a mothers group we used to attend. She was derogatory about every mum who walked through the door. The kind of person who enjoys putting others down in order to make themselves feel better - a bully - though I'm minded to wonder what makes her feel so insecure too.

I reminded my friend of this. But I know its no solace. She is getting very conflicting medical advice from various medical professionals which is making it even harder for her to know what is the right thing to do. At one point they even went as far as to suggest she may have Munchausen by proxy syndrome! now they just keep telling her its post natal depression, but no-one is offering help.

What have a learnt ?

That often we wish so hard for something, we don't look further than the thing itself and it turns out not quite how we expected it to be.Its not always possible to see what the consequences there might be. Often there are any number of permutations of what could or might happen.
25th Nov 2009, 08:40