Pattern Recognition

by Dhamaka

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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"........ Albert Einstein

My new dance photography blog, DanceTog is here

My formal G20Voice blog is here

"When you're standing on a comfortable rug, you have to expect it to be pulled from under your feet sometimes"
........ Ben Moor
Global Warming - the debate

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This is my personal blog, not a venue for saleable images. In fact, because it's here that I share things that are important to me with the members of the moblog community, photo quality's not my priority. Events, occasions, achievements, thoughts, trips and experiments - you'll find them all here. Contact me for the development version of my photo portfolio, for a selection of saleable images or visit my dance photography blog or my website for cuttings. And remember that all photos remain my copyright unless I've specifically said otherwise.

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"Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race"
........ H G Wells

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better"
........ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Luck favours the prepared mind"
........ Louis Pasteur

"Never to get lost is not to live, not to know how to get lost brings you to destruction, and somewhere in the terra incognita in between lies a life of discovery."
........ Rebecca Solnit

"Give, give, give -- what is the point of having experience, knowledge or talent if I don't give it away? Of having stories if I don't tell them to others? Of having wealth if I don't share it? I don't intend to be cremated with any of it! It is in giving that I connect with others, with the world and with the divine."
........ Isabel Allende

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs - ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
........ Harold Thurman Whitman

"The real voyage of discovery consists not of seeing new landscapes, but in having new eyes...."
........ Marcel Proust

"It is by riding a bicycle that you learn the contours of a country best, since you have to sweat up the hills and coast down them.. you have no such accurate remembrance of a country you have driven through as you gain by riding a bicycle...."
........ Ernest Hemingway

"Ambition leads me not only father than any other man has been before me, but as far as I think it is possible for man to go."
........ James Cook

"The grand show is enternal. It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling; vapour is ever rising. Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls."
........ John Muir

"The bicycle is the most civilised conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart."
........ Iris Murdoch

"Photography for me is not looking, it's feeling. If you can't feel what you're looking at, then you're never going to get others to feel anything when they look at your picture...."
........ Don McCullin

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Out now
With final drip
I suspect it had as much to do with my photography as NHS budgets, nonetheless after less than a week of incarceration my respect and appreciation of Lucia's strength has increased tremendously

#1 daily experiments with heart rate and blood pressure monitor had various nurses guessing what I was thinking of according to the readings

#2 the drain that came out today

#3 the three drains - the top one went under the arm and was excruciating the other two to the breast area

#4 the painful one up close. It came out this morning, thank goodness

#5 I suspect that of all the daily cocktail of drugs I've been given, that the only one I don't react badly to is the household painkiller. Doesn't bode well

#6 Post op. I also have shots of my breast marked up for dissection and then reconstructed but am sparing you from that one

#7 that bruised a lot

#8 I get the impression that they shouldn't have left these in for the entire week. They've left a nasty hole.

mara says:

you go home?

12th May 2009, 21:55

I am home - with one drain which will come out on Thursday afternoon

12th May 2009, 21:57

mara says:

: )

12th May 2009, 21:58

Viv says:

hope you enjoyed your bath and that there is someone there with you!

12th May 2009, 22:20

i did and there isn't
I'd really rather be as normal as possible whenever I can

12th May 2009, 22:21

Anonymous says:

Yay......enjoy sleeping in your own bed

12th May 2009, 22:27

EJ says:

Excellent news.......enjoy sleeping in your own bed

12th May 2009, 22:28

Caine says:

Oh, I'm glad things are moving along properly now. It must be such a relief to be home. The reconstruction they do now is wonderful, I had a relative that went through this long before they did that, and things were a lot more difficult, adjustment wise.

12th May 2009, 22:29

Viv says:

'normal' is not a word you understand!
I'm sure you'll be fine... but.... :)
enjoy your space x

12th May 2009, 22:38

minkey says:

Home sweet home :-)

12th May 2009, 22:55

paintist says:

sweet glad you are free from hospital food :-)

12th May 2009, 23:18

Anon, EJ - I did and am :)

Caine - indeed and I like the size and shape of the new one better than the untouched one, even though it's potentially only temporary. If all goes well I think I'll get the other made bigger to match - then boobs and bum will be balanced for the first time :)

Viv - :D OK, but 'normal' for me...

minkey - indeed :)

paintist - I haven't managed hospital food for a while. Wondering if sister in law and friends might consider continuing to provide me with the excellent alternatives that they brought to the hospital

12th May 2009, 23:56

Helen says:

Hey, hey, glad they released you at last!

These pictures make me feel awful queasy. But they're also quite fascinating. So I still look.

13th May 2009, 00:04

Viv says:

ok you're the risk assessment specialist :)

or should that be management - sure you will manage the situation wonderfully :)

yes it is important to be in charge as much as possible ... when's the chocolate cake arriving?

13th May 2009, 01:53

Puddlepuff says:


My whole upper body is starting to itch now.

13th May 2009, 08:36


13th May 2009, 13:49

Euphro says:

Glad to see that you are out. Thank you very much for sharing the pictures. Thinking of you :)

13th May 2009, 13:53

silar31 says:

You must be so happy to finally be cut loose! I'm quite certain if you mention to friends that you still need help with meals for a bit they will stay on the case.

As to the catheter hole in your arm, just treat it like any other wound - keep in covered and it will heal up quick. Might leave a wee dot - my left hand has a little line of them along the vein from my years of bouncing in and out of hospital.

*le huggle*

13th May 2009, 14:44

yourhermione says:

Home feels so good. Thank you for posting these. I wish I could bring you some good meals! I suspect that people will be more than willing to keep delivering though. *much love and healing*

13th May 2009, 14:48

thanks all - I've asked for more gazpacho already. Cutting all those little vegetables is going to be a challenge till I get proper use of my left arm back. But for now I reckon I can manage most cooking myself.

Now if people would like to come over to do the washing up....

*bats eyelids

.. seriously .... one-handed washing up is not easy

13th May 2009, 23:14

George. I know your type is really really bad but mine is/was only potentially terrible as it looks as if it was caught in plenty of time. I'll know more in a few weeks of course, but the chances are that after removal and blasting my body with loads of evil stuff for 7-odd months I'll be fine for a good long while

Yesterday the nurses actually helped take the photos and I have an agreement that a shot of the lump itself will be delivered

Home nursing? on the NHS? You kidding? Even the woman who is 'my cancer nurse' (who was on holiday for the week of my incarceration) has called me only once since the op. Don't get me started.. I'm storing both vitriol and humour for a good, scathing article

There is apparently a lymphodemia specialist but they refused to arrange a visit while I was interned and seem determined to wait to see if it manifests before doing anything about it. I've found alternative help there.

And as far as physio goes, the ward nurse gave me wrong instructions (I didn't follow them because they felt wrong), the physio didn't actually work with me but stood at the bottom of the bed and showed me 3 exercises I could already do so I've got more info from the official cancer sites and am visiting my osteopath (who has a broader than osteopathic background and experience with cancer already) next week


15th May 2009, 07:38

paintist says:

oh...I should have come here first.... you have answered my questions...
Its a good job you are such a thorough researcher and are armed with information you need.....I would have been at the mercy of what sounds like NHS indifference

15th May 2009, 08:46

I wasn't well researched actually, paintist - the friend who helped me through most of it did a lot, two other friends who have significant hospital experience contributed and the rest is the background I have from a lifetime of healthy living and natural bodybuilding. I really wasn't in a place to assess and prioritise facts until after the op, and even now am taking my research slower than is probably good

oh yes, and it's not indifference. If you want nice, you get it in spades. If you don't mind them behaving as if you're a sweet simple-minded idiot you get huge amounts of attention. However, if you want to be treated like an adult, not to be undermined, to have your questions answered as if you had a brain or would just like plain post-bank-holiday-weekend-competence that's a different story, but I certainly wouldn't accuse them of indifference

15th May 2009, 09:14

paintist says:

I look forward to reading your article....boy you do sound well :-)

15th May 2009, 09:21