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by Laszlo Q. V. St-J. Xalieri

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For some of us, Halloween just means we can wear our usual uniforms in public.

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26th Oct 2007, 16:05  

billion says:

now everyone is wishing they had one of those. especially me. what the fuck is it?

26th Oct 2007, 16:09

Rich says:

It's how he jacks out to the cyberbahn

26th Oct 2007, 16:12

billion says:

does it have limb attachments as well, a la lawnmower man?

26th Oct 2007, 16:19

Well, it's a $7 welding mask I picked up at a feed & seed store with a late-eighties-era car phone antenna screwed onto the side, still trailing the original coaxial cable. Also I'm wearing an Australian-style leather hat, an actual honest-to-To-Whom-It-May-Concern lab coat with pass-through pockets and a "super-modified" ballistic nylon e-holster, currently at around a dozen pouches and way more comfy than a utility belt. That's a Nokia cellphone hands-free kit in a cable-turtle on the front of my shoulder there.

Everything in this outfit was, at one time, something I wore at various jobs. Although the welding mask was just to deal with blinding migraines when I worked at Coca-Cola's World HQ, and the antenna was attached just as a joke. Wore it, though.

Still wear the e-holster basically all the time.

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26th Oct 2007, 16:22

No limb attachments. Yet.

We referred to the mask assembly as the Thoughtviewer back at Coke.

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26th Oct 2007, 16:23

nige says:

that mask is the shit. i'm loving it.

26th Oct 2007, 16:27

billion says:

hmm, "the thoughtviewer". no doubt used to tap into the minds of infants to work out how to sell them flavoured water :O

nonetheless, I still want one.

26th Oct 2007, 16:32

Thanks, Nige. :)

Flavored water, sugared battery acid... Man, I miss the days of paregoric and laudanum. Thank To-Whom-It-May-Concern we can still buy absinthe. Somewhere.

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26th Oct 2007, 16:45

billion says:

absinthe, now there's a drink :)))

26th Oct 2007, 16:50

A friend of mine sent me half a bottle of this red stuff from Spain. Red? I figured it worked for kryptonite, so I tried it....

I found it did what it was supposed to. I'm saving the last swig for Superman. Just in case.

Oh, thanks for the highlight, by the way. I'm thinking even though I'm not in the top twenty for highlights these days, I still have to be freakishly near the top of the list for self-portraits....

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26th Oct 2007, 17:01

OJ says:

Terrifying. Have you thought of a career in the movies, you look menacing. Your beard is top too :)

26th Oct 2007, 18:26

Movies? Now that's terrifying. In fact, I have thought about it. It's a lot of work, though, and I have no acting background to speak of. If you know a director who's willing to be very, very patient, I'll go to the interview and read.... But from where I am now, I'd be facing about five years doing time with commercials. Eek.

I was "training" for the World Beard Championships this year, but I didn't have the spare cash to go this time around. Maybe in 2009.

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26th Oct 2007, 18:57

Dhamaka says:

this is brilliant
-I've started, btw. It's going slowly because I can't print it or save it so have to read it online

26th Oct 2007, 19:39

Thanks!

The "print/save" password is on its way! I didn't have any trouble printing it from Preview on my Mac, so I didn't think about it. Take it from Adobe to create a magic lock that only gets in the way when people use their bloated version of the reader software....

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26th Oct 2007, 19:53

Dhamaka says:

ah.. that'll be it and thank you
:)

26th Oct 2007, 19:56

wombat527 says:

I forget how true that is for you, every year, until Halloween.

26th Oct 2007, 20:08

If I threw your jobs in with mine, I could get a nightstick and a pair of handcuffs. Hmm.

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26th Oct 2007, 21:01

swamprose says:

brilliant! I have been wondering what to do for Hallowe'en, and now I know--a Xalieri. of course I can't do it right (no beard) and I'll add a little zuzu dr john...but what an inspiration.

26th Oct 2007, 23:21

Last time all it took was a little spirit gum and some wig trimmings—and the loan of all my gear. Meanwhile, I wore tights, antennae, round panty-hose wings, a striped shirt, and faked up an abdomen and a stinger with an old black t-shirt, a pillow, and a plastic toy rapier....

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26th Oct 2007, 23:29

swamprose says:

wow. thanks for the tips. I have antennae, will work on faked up abdomen and stinger. stinger, yessssss!

26th Oct 2007, 23:32

My original idea was that I would rig a taser-thingy to the end of my abdomen, but I chickened out when I realized I would be drinking and would likely sit on the damned thing at some point in the evening... *sigh*

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26th Oct 2007, 23:46

swamprose says:

nice idea, good decision. frankly the stinger thing has got me thinking. a male kind of thing. but I do have a friend with a cattle prod...

26th Oct 2007, 23:58

Male, my ass -- so to speak. For many bees, it's the wimmenfolk what does the stingin'. And the cattle prod is an excellent idea.

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27th Oct 2007, 00:03

swamprose says:

ok. shucks, thanks, cattle prod works for me, but I might have to wear a hell of a battery pack. will look into it tomorrow. it's not just about pumpkins, is it?

27th Oct 2007, 00:05

SaharaSB says:

love this !

27th Oct 2007, 13:16

Thanks!

In maybe ten years, I can have a semi-transparent OLED display in there with a wireless link to my personal electronics. And the antenna will still be for show. And catch on low-hanging tree branches and twang a lot.

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27th Oct 2007, 19:28

Viv says:

quite amazing

28th Oct 2007, 12:36

winespy says:

i love xalieri, reminds me of mozart...

Aahh

28th Oct 2007, 15:44

:) Tortured artist, married, impoverished -- if I'm going to die young, I need to do it quickly....

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28th Oct 2007, 16:02