Think it might be the starter motor guv *commences head shaking and tutting* :)

Dunno... try kicking the tyres...

Seems to be missing a little something ..... still, an elastic band and a few paperclips ....

have you looked in the boot?

Best call the RAC!

just needs a little shove down a hill - it will go a treat !

The lambda sensor looks shot to me, I suggest tweaking the boost down a little and make sure you use super unleaded only.

*Throws sawdust on it*

Give it five minutes.

drop a fred flintstone in there and you'll be well away...

I'ts allright. I just lost a shoe.

WD40 is the answer to everything.

Have you made sure there is antifreeze in the rad?

looks fine to me, can't imagine what the problem might be

I of course would have made the same comment as Nige. I am now troubled by spiderbaby's comment, i think i need to check on my dear friend a.s.a.p