Ok, this is how sick I had been, i have no recal what this sign is from , save some Garage sale, that I really have no recall of being at. the downside of posting a picture then not commenting on it for weeks, or months

The bigger explanation is below (sorry of the spelling is of i just got home from this ) I wanted torember this moment, preserve it in a way. Me in pure anxiety mode, watching my blood pressure creep up to frieghting spaces. Hipster haircuts and 100$ ties still can't stop the stress monsters of a crap ocupational choices from hitting you hard. this is the last picture where i am at someone elsescontrol.

Its a moment of quiet personal revolution delivered in a suburban hospital ER. The question is how do you make your life truly your own.- I think i know how, the trick is in the doing.
LEt this picture stand to remind me to never get here again

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

So my nose started bleeeding, a gusher in point of fact. and if you read this at all you have seen me talk about my health as of late, the stuff i don't tell my close friend but happily publish her in a photoblog-mostly because my friends don't actually read this. I am fine it really wasnt anything more then a safeguard, but i got sneak peeks at test results. Its nothing that awful, but to me well its sort of epic. Lets just say therre are places you sometimes should reevluate your thinking and one of thse is the ER

a very odd self portrait, into a light fixture in my upstairs, you can see some jon langford pictures in the reflection. I have been pretty sick latleyt and just sort of going through a litte patch of hell, so this fits the mode

an enromus cinamon roll pictue, that i took a picture of at IHOP

I have been sick lately, realy just doing sort of crap. When they took blood thi slast time it seemed like something i needed to document. so there is my right arm( you can see my tattoo) and the nurses hands

Ithis is a shrine in my house, just a detail. with the lamest transformer ever-he turns into a microscope. and a porcelian stock broker. But t really looks like astrangler