my life in words and pictures

by chocolate

user profile | dashboard | chocolate maps

this is me, trying to put down my thoughts about everything and anything in the most sincere way possible, trying to find order in the chaos that is my life, trying to throw some mediocre-to-good pictures in along the way and trying to do it all in such a charming way that maybe someone actually finds pleasure in reading it all.




Recent visitors

Friends

More...

rss rss feed

just ...

(viewed 702 times)

but i'm still here
i've had quite a week
more than a week actually
really didn't see that coming ...

i'm still here
and things look alright now

i'm smiling now
and i'm lost for words

... which is why there'll be more of me soon!
but now it's bedtime. see you soon :)

28th Feb 2008, 23:19   comments (4)

i just don't know

(viewed 648 times)
i've been ...

crying
despairing
escaping
drowning
not understanding
crawling up the walls
and going absolutely crazy

i've been ...

lost
28th Feb 2008, 23:12   comments (4)

drip drop teardrops ...

(viewed 671 times)
save me please someone save me
was all i thought ...
28th Feb 2008, 23:07   comments (4)

hope and adrenalin

(viewed 758 times)
just a few more months ...
i'm counting the days ...
12th Feb 2008, 23:20   comments (8)

fire sky

in these winter months, when my usual routes through the woods and over the golf course are wet and muddy, i run on top of this hill which oversees the e n t i r e lake of constance and the mountains around it, austria and switzerland.

and, obviously, magnificent sunsets *** :)

the other day, i was up there, and i swear as the view came over the ridge i slowed down and stood there mesmerized - looking over the lake at one of the most beautiful sunsets i've ever seen! the sky over the mountain peaks across the water was bathed in a blood deep red and as the sun was setting it looked like the horizon was on fire.

there were these people, two or three, standing up there as well. one was walking his dog and taking pictures with his camera phone, mumbling 'amazing' as he passed me. another was taking picture after picture with this huge camera on a tripod. i was thinking about running home and getting the camera myself, but it was too late, the sun was setting so quickly.

next day's local newspaper showed a picture of the sunset taken from, well, right where the man with the tripod was standing :) the caption und the large picture read something like:

'... as if the sky was on fire over the lake of constance ...'




this was a few days later.


12th Feb 2008, 22:57   comments (8)

old skool

(viewed 666 times)
had one of those w o n d e r f u l weekends that just turn out to be so enjoyable, when friday saturday and sunday accord harmonically and by sunday night you feel so good it sticks in your head till next weekend :)

you know, one of those weekends where friday night explodes with music, people and drinks, laughs and lights, saturday floats into perception as you slowly stagger out of bed at noon and the sun shines in all its beauty, saturday night gently wraps you tight and makes you feel warm and mellow, and sunday softly presents itself to you with the first rays through your window in the morning and breakfast tastes like the best breakfast you've ever had.




then comes monday morning.
12th Feb 2008, 22:26   comments (3)

less is more

(viewed 726 times)
that's what OJ said.
nothing to say to this anyway.
smile :)
10th Feb 2008, 15:47   comments (5)

alone tonight ...

(viewed 574 times)
i'm
all
alone
tonight...

and it's sort of depressing. sometimes i've got no problem with being on my own but right now it's a bit sad somehow. i'd really like to have someone here with me.

but i'm alright. i took these, purely on the spur of the moment, because i thought it was time for a post in my moblog, i've been so lazy lately. well, not lazy, but i haven't had any motivation, or maybe nothing to tell, or maybe i didn't want to tell.

i spent some days in munich and felt amazing. it's like a live preview of my future, and it feels brilliant :) i've got a great new friend who took me out for some drinks and the whole trip was wonderful as i had been feeling a bit down the weekend before. then yesterday was ... wild, to say the least. fun, yes, but also weird and even a bit too much. but no more of that. today i went skiing, which was

beautiful!

i went with
r o s i
and ... well, she's a wonderful girl.
she cheers me up.

i realized lately that so much of my mood and the way i feel - for days at times - whether i'm happy or sad or lonely or excited, a lot of it depends on other people. and this is something i really don't enjoy because i hate being dependent. especially when the thing you are dependent on is something so very unconstant.

there's this saying, i'm sure you've heard of it ..

'the only constant is change'

which is true, but at a time in your life when everything is changing, you are making decisions which will influence the rest of your life, new things are happening every day and in the middle of it all you are desperately, frantically clinging onto the ideas, principles and values that have kept you above water all you life, while they are softly slipping away day after day, you catch yourself craving constancy.

sometimes ...

it's one of those things that are
scary
intimidating
exhausting
unsettling
on the one hand and
thrilling
inspiring
encouraging
and
intoxicating
on the other.

sometimes it's all too much, and then again, it's what makes life so amazing in the first place.
sometimes i just need to be shown the way.
26th Jan 2008, 21:58   comments (2)