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The Unpleasant Moblog Of Spank The Monkey

by SpankTM

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Another part of the Spank The Monkey media empire: offending your brain at The Unpleasant Lair Of Spank The Monkey, offending your ears at Spank's Audio Lair, and offending your eyes right here, right now.

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#Collabfest2020 beer 20: Super Hero Landing (Swansea x Tiny Rebel, Imperial stout, 13.00%)

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?I am shocked - shocked! - to discover that the most popular of the Collabfest beers on Untappd is the 13% monster with more booze in it than all the others. Still, as one of the advantages of this year's festival format is that we have control over the order in which we attack the beers we've got, we decide that this'll be the one we finish with. And annoyingly, it turns out that the mob is right in this case. A gloriously creamy imperial stout with tons of flavour, and so gluggable that you could easily forget that it's in double digits. Sure, in a normal Collabfest we'd only have to deal with a third of a pint of something this strong rather than 500ml, but what are you gonna do? (Stop looking at the sink, it ain't going to happen.)


22nd Nov 2020, 23:00   comments (0)

#Collabfest2020 beer 19: Sofa Surfer (Södermalm x Northern Exposure Brewing Co, DDH DIPA, 7.50%)

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The BBG thinks 7.5% is a little low for a DIPA - sadly, we haven't been able to get hold of the Soho/Howling Hops collab, which at 2.8% claims it's a 'table DIPA'. Anyway, second one of these of the day, and this is much more of a traditional HOPS HOPS HOPS deal than VulKano was earlier. I can see why she gets fed up of it as a style given how prevalent it is, but this is a pretty fine version of one, so I'm happy enough. (And so is she, since you asked.)

22nd Nov 2020, 22:31   comments (0)

#Collabfest2020 beer 18: Cherrytale Of Paris (Le Marais x Les Cuves de Fauve, amber, 6.90%)

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Le Marais certainly picked the right week to put out a beer that references Fairytale Of New York. (Although to be honest, that whole row seems to break out in November every year now. My favourite alternative lyric, frequently quoted on Twitter without attribution, is the period-specific 'you scumbag, you maggot, you've taped over Taggart'.) Anyway, I can now reveal that our MASSIVELY SUCCESSFUL dinner experiment involved the creation of a meat-free version of BrewDog's Jackpot burger, which required a heroic effort from The BBG to create a vegetarian black pudding from scratch. And this beer works terrifically with it. On Untappd, the pithy description of this as 'amber' is expanded to 'strong British amber ale aged on medium-toast French oak & Scotch whisky-infused candied cherries', and if that doesn't excite you as an idea then I'll leave you to your Budweiser. Possibly a little under-carbonated, but otherwise firing on all cylinders, with the fruit and the barrel aging combining in all sorts of mysterious ways.


22nd Nov 2020, 21:07   comments (0)

#Collabfest2020 beer 17: Back Up Plan IPA (Carlisle x Full Circle Brew Co, IPA, 6.80%)

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This one's a slightly dubious muddy colour (The BBG admits afterwards that she's seen lots of people online saying exactly the same thing), but it tastes just fine (and she admits they've mostly been saying this too). We're drinking this beer while working on a cookery experiment that I might tell you about in the next review, depending on how well it goes, and it works just fine for that. It's not spectacular, edging more towards fruity hop than bitter hop, but pleasant enough.


22nd Nov 2020, 19:57   comments (0)

#Collabfest2020 beer 16: Life Is Gourd (Old Street AF x Big Drop, alcohol-free pumpkin spice ale, 0.50%)

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Hard to believe that at the beginning of this absolute arse of a year, one of our early highlights was attending the launch of BrewDog's first alcohol-free bar: it feels like a lot more than ten months ago. Where it goes from here on in is anyone's guess - it's already had to compromise by putting on a couple of boozy beers, like a vegetarian restaurant offering a token meat dish - but it's nice to see BrewDog's ongoing commitment to low ABV beers, especially from one of the best breweries in the game. Having said that, this isn't quite up to their usual high standard: it's a little flat and thin, and it takes a while for the beer to warm up and allow the advertised pumpkin and spice to get through. (The flatness might be down to a glitch in the canning process, but we can't be sure.) Still drinkable, though, with some unexpected smokiness, and it's a useful pacer before we head into the final stretch of the weekend.


22nd Nov 2020, 18:54   comments (0)

#Collabfest2020 beer 15: VulKano (Lothian Rd x Barney's Beer, DDH DIPA, 6.70%)

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We have two double dry-hopped DIPAs remaining in the stash, so we decide to have one now and one a bit later on. This one surprises me a bit initially: all those D's in the description lead you to assume it's going to be relentlessly hoppy, when in fact there's a nice balance between bitterness and juiciness. Barney's is one of the few breweries in this festival that I've visited - it's in the back of Summerhall in Edinburgh, and they do tours during Fringe season - and if we didn't make it to Edinburgh this year, at least we've had a new beer out of those tanks. 


22nd Nov 2020, 17:42   comments (0)

#Collabfest2020 beer 14: Mister Scoops (Seven Dials x Hammerton, chocolate butterscotch and caramel milk stout, 5.50%)

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Oh, this is more like it. Actual flavours and a decent amount of fizz mean that the sink's not going to be seeing any of this one. There's a complexity totally at odds with its relatively puny ABV - The BBG's reminded of Caramac, and who wouldn't want to drink a pint of Caramac? (Shut up, young people, you know nothing.)


22nd Nov 2020, 16:09   comments (0)

#Collabfest2020 beer 13: White Dog (Nice x Brasserie Des Ligures, American dry hopped wheat beer, 5.70%)

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Another day, another wheat beer. Our final day of the fest kicks off with our thirteenth brew, and this appears to be where our luck runs out. Slightly unappealing dishwater colour, almost total lack of carbonation, and a taste of... well, I'm thinking beer flavoured beverage rather than actual beer. It's the first one this weekend that we've put more of down the sink than into ourselves - spoiler alert, we've got another seven to get through today, and life's too short to drink bad beer, as the back of a pint glass told me once. "Ironic that it's the one that says 'Nice' on it," suggests The BBG.


22nd Nov 2020, 15:29   comments (0)